So there I was. We had just got done finishing up dinner and were settling in for the evening when she came to me with the test. We both looked at it and it clearly said positive. My world just kind of faded away for a minute. All of the emotions flooded through my brain. Excitement, panic, insecurity, so much love for this woman, and a whole lot of fear. We have had the conversation in the past both expressing that we wanted to be parents. We were not expecting it to just happen how it did. It definitely took us both by surprise.

The current living condition for us wasn’t the best. We were both still transitioning from being together to living together. Not to mention I still had a messy personal life to clean up. Needless to say the situation and timing were not ideal. I know those thoughts passed through her mind as well. I could see the kaleidoscope of emotions reflecting in her eyes.

We then shared a hug and start the talks of how happy we were and how exciting this news was. We knew that we could make it happen. We could straighten everything out in time to welcome our new addition to the family. We both wanted to have a kid and it was finally happening.

I could barely sleep that night. The nerves were something fierce. The constant shift between finally getting a chance to become a father and the shear terror and realization that I was in fact becoming a father was a lot to take on. All I had to do to ground myself though was remind myself that I had a village to support me. I had my amazing partner, who I know, was feeling similar thoughts. I had my family who would show up and help in anyway they could. I also knew her family would be very supportive.

The news was earth shattering, but also something more. It was like a sunrise on a new exciting chapter of our lives together. I couldn’t wait to start the journey with her.